I’ve moved!

Hi friends,

I know you’re all just getting used to this URL, but my buddy Blake was nice enough to set my blog up on his server because I wanted a prettier theme.  And wanted it for free Which means I have a new URL for you. Enjoy!

http://hiimhelga.schaperinc.com/wordpress/

Helga, OUT!

Fine, I’ll tell you.

A lot of people have been coming up to me and asking about the title and tagline of this blog. What does it mean? Couldn’t you come up with something more creative than your basic introduction? What’s this Paula business?

Well friends, I’m here to tell you.

About: Hi, I’m Helga

I was in a sorority in college (pretty much the best one EV-ER if you ask me, but I don’t want to brag, so I won’t go on), so every Fall we had formal recruitment. Formal recruitment is when potential new members (i.e. freshmen or sophomores) have a week-long experience going to each sorority, narrowing it down day by day. There’s a lot more to it, but I won’t bore you with the details. It’s an exhausting, emotional week, but well worth it in the end. But I digress.

So, sophomore year rolls around and I was VERY excited to be in my house and to be on the other side of recruitment. We had to learn songs (don’t laugh) to welcome the new girls into the house, give house tours, learn fun facts about our sorority to use as “fillers” in lieu of a dead conversation, and so on. And each day had a theme – which corresponded to our outfits and songs! It’s funny to look back on it now, but I loved every second of it. Some of my most fond memories come from the 4 years of recruitment.

First day of recruitment: we are lined up on the stairs, waiting to greet the potential new members one-by-one as they come in. And as I mentioned before, everyone in the house is SINGING. LOUDLY. It’s my turn. I’m up. Who’s my girl gonna be? I hope she’s cool and easy to talk to. Oh – here she is! I belted out “HIIIII, I’M HELGA!”

I didn’t realize it, but I had YELLED my introduction and scared the poor freshman. But in all reality, I was just trying to talk above the loud singing. And I have an uncommon name (how many Helgas do you know?) so I wanted to make sure she knew it. I was told later that she had a look of horror in her face. She never did come back. Sorry freshman, I’m JUST REALLY EXCITED TO MEET YOU!

So, from then on whenever I would have to introduce myself at any sorority event, and would say “Hi, I’m Helga,” everyone would just giggle and remember my embarrassing moment. Whatevs. I do what I want! The End.

About: but you can call me paula

The summer before my senior year of college, I lived in a fraternity house in my college town (Ames, IA — Iowa State University). It wasn’t as bad as you may think. Really! Anyways, one night my friends and I ventured to a local drinking establishment that we had never been to before because they had quarter draws. Which, when you are a poor college student, is one amazing deal. You’ll pretty much go anywhere for that. We got our quarter beers and proceeded to a booth to catch up and relax. Soon enough a group of boys approached us and tried to start-up a conversation.

Here is the lovely conversation that I had with a boy who was apparently hard of hearing.

Boy: Hi, I’m _____. (I can’t remember. He wasn’t memorable. Sorry, random dude)

Me: Hi, I’m Helga.

Boy: Paula?

Me: No – Helga.

Boy: Paula.

Me: HELGA.

Boy: I’m sorry… Paula?

Me: No. HEL-GAAA (at this point I’m almost screaming and my friends stopped their convos to listen)

Boy: It’s Paula?

Me: Fine. Yes, I’m Paula.

Thankfully the boy left after I gave him the evil eye several times. But there you have it folks. From then on, my fake bar name was (and still is) Paula…. which is also kind of funny since I actually have an aunt named Paula. The End.

I spy with my little eye…

I live very close to Lake Calhoun, so obvi it’s the main place I go to run. I don’t really venture off the course because I get lost easily and don’t want to be in the middle of some neighborhood asking for directions. It’s very likely this could happen as I’m extremely directionally challenged. Stay on the path that goes in a circle? I’m good.

I’ve come to make some observations about the types of people I’ve seen while at Lake Calhoun. I have found 9 categories that most Calhoun visitors fall into.

1. The Hardcore Runners. These people know what’s up. They’re dressed head to toe in athletic gear that is color-coordinated and skin-tight. They also come prepared with a fanny pack and water bottles strapped along their waistband. They’re the boy scouts of the running world. Don’t try making eye contact with them because they are HARDCORE and do not have time for socializing. Usually they are going too fast to do that anyway.

2. The Hipsters. Oh, the hipsters. Being in the heart of hipster land (Uptown), Hipsters come to Calhoun to prove to everyone that they deserve to be there too. They’re not in workout clothes, no no, they’re still in their hipster garb to make it clearly known who they are. They walk very slowly. They aren’t there to excercise, they just want to be seen with other Hipsters.

3. People on a First Date. These people crack me up. You’ll know if you’re around them by the smell of perfume and/or cologne. I feel bad for the girls because they’re usually wearing heels and a cute outfit, because the guy was probably like “Hey, do you want to go take a walk before we get dinner?” so the girl is most likely thinking that he means a block or two. Not 3.1 miles. Those poor soles (and souls). The first daters are usually pretty awkward to watch, but really fun to overhear when you pass them. Oh, new love!

4. Guys with small dogs trying to pick up chicks. He’s peacocking. Simple as that. He thinks that if he has a small, cute dog that hopefully girls will stop to talk to him. This ploy does work quite often. He’s usually sporting a muscle tank and designer jeans. Be warned girls, he’s after you! When discussing this blog topic with a friend, I mentioned this group to her. She thought that these guys were walking their girlfriend’s dogs. Which, maybe could be true. But don’t you think he’d want to walk with his girlfriend too?

5. Speed of Light Runners. Sub-category of #1, but they go way too fast to make any good observations about. These people inspire me to keep running. Not that I’ll ever be one of them, but still, it’s a far-reaching goal. Ha. Right.

6. People on Their Cellphones. We get it: you’re so popular that you need to talk on your phone super loud so everyone can hear you. These are typically young women walking by themselves and walking too slow to work up a sweat. Maybe they don’t like walking alone with no one to talk to? Maybe they don’t like to be alone with their thoughts? Whatever the case is, they are frequent visitors at Calhoun.

7. Normal People. This group is a culmination of average people – some walking, some running, some walking AND running (me!). They’re super cool and you can tell they enjoy life. They also look like they’re having fun while working out. Pretty much the best people at the Lake. They may break out into random dance moves with their friends to help keep their energy up. Not that I’ve ever done that. I’m just sayin’.

8. Herds of Moms with Strollers. The header pretty much sums them up. I know I shouldn’t bash moms with babies trying to get exercise and gossip with other moms with babies, but do you know how hard it is to get around them (usually 2-4 strollers), especially during busy lake hours? Gah, it’s annoying – and I’m not even a hardcore runner. I’m sure the hardcore runners REALLY don’t like the moms with strollers. But what can you do? They have every right to be at the Lake like everyone else.

9. Runners in Jeans. I don’t get this group and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t know anyone that thinks running in jeans is a good idea. Not jean shorts, but jeans. Jeans! That just seems hot and uncomfortable. Not to mention the chaffing. Uff da. They will remain a mystery…

I think that’s all for now, loves. Feel free to leave a comment with other categories of people you’ve seen at Calhoun. Helga, OUT!

What I’ve learned in two days of half-marathon training

1. I should really stretch beforehand. People always say it, but I never believed them. UNTIL NOW. Why, hello shin splints, glad you stopped by.

2. Working out with a friend (hi betsy!) is more enjoyable, but I never work as hard as when I’m by myself. Maybe because I’m distracted? I’d rather chat than run?

3. Training gets in the way of my social activities. “Sorry, I have to run…” or, “I can’t, it’s a running night…” and it’s not like I can do it in the morning. I get up at the buttcrack of dawn as is.

4. I still don’t like running.

5. I do like my new skin-tight running capris!

6. I don’t look pretty with a beet-red face. Does anyone?

7. I WILL keep training. Mama didn’t raise no quitter.

Hello world!

Well… I don’t even know where to begin. And look at that, my first sentence is generic. We’re off to a fabulous start. I’m hoping to document my training wins and woes for my first half-marathon in July, as well as share other stories and interesting topics I deem important. And/or ridiculous. Or whatever. Guess we’ll find out!

A little about me:

• I’m tall and I like wearing big heels
• I have 3 rods and 8 screws in my spine (jealous?!)
• Love spicy anything
• Sometimes I’m too sarcastic for my own good
• Being a child of the 80s, of course I love big hair – hairspray is my best friend
• Moderately obsessed with Jared Allen.
• Big fan of anything and everything Scandinavian
• Delta Delta Delta sista for LIFE!

That’s all for now, loves. Please come again, soon. Helga, OUT!